I would love to make my marriage 100% affair-proof. Wouldn’t you?
But the thing is, I think that’s one of the huge reasons people fall into affairs: they think it could never happen to them. They think their marriage IS already affair-proof.
6 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage:
1. Stop saying, “It could never happen to us.”
Want to make it less likely to happen to you? Start by admitting it could. When you admit that an affair could happen to anyone, you start taking necessary precautions to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.
2. Don’t flirt with the line.
A friend of mine told me recently that an old boyfriend messaged her on Facebook. It was a (mostly) innocent message, so she probably could have not told her husband about it. But she didn’t want to flirt with the line, so she told him. (And then she refused to respond to her ex’s message).
To avoid an affair, stay as far away from the line as possible. When my husband and I spend time alone with members of the opposite sex (which isn’t often and only when necessary for work), the other spouse always knows about it. We also have each others passwords for social media accounts and phones, etc.
Instead of thinking, how close can I get to the line without crossing it, start thinking instead, how can I stay as far away from the line as possible.
3. Don’t just give 50%.
In a healthy marriage, spouses don’t give 50%. They both give 100%.
Don’t give enough just to get by. Give enough to soar.
4. Be intentional.
Can I just be honest with you? I’d love it if I didn’t have to work for a good marriage. I’d love it if I didn’t have to do anything to make sure my husband and I stay connected.
But that’s not reality. If we’re not intentionally working toward a healthy marriage, we’ll slowly drift into an unhealthy one.
I read something about otters recently that I thought was interesting. Many times, sea otters hold hands while they are sleeping. They do this so that they can stay together as they rest. They know that if they’re not intentional, they will drift apart. The same is true for our marriages.
5. Make sex a priority.
God didn’t design sex just for men or just for making babies. He also created it because He knew how it would bond two people together. When couples have this area of their marriage under control, an affair is much less likely (though not impossible) to occur.
6. Seek accountability.
The truth is, even in healthy marriages, there are going to be temptations.
That’s why accountability is so important. When you know you have someone checking up on your marriage on a regular basis, you’re a lot less likely to give in to these temptations.
This is a heavy topic, and I know I just barely brushed the surface. What other tips would you add?