I am so excited!!! I have been anticipating this series for several months! Seriously!! As I mentioned last week, my heart has always been with the kids that have lost their parents for one reason or another. And that’s when I realized I wanted several of my friends to write about their adoption experiences.
We met in college, just a couple years ago – HA!, and I have kept up with her via her blog and facebook. Believe me, when I tell you that you will be blessed by Lindsey’s story and testimony of a Faithful and Loving God who’s plans are far better than we can ever imagine.
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So, without further ado I give you my first “real” blog series and my first ever guest post on here!!
Life doesn’t always go as planned. Or at least, it doesn’t always go as we planned.
Maybe you’re like me and you’ve had your entire life planned out since you were twelve. Get married right out of college. Then wait a few years and start having babies. Stay home with them until they’re in school and then go back to work. That was my plan, and I never once thought about how I would react if it didn’t come to pass. After all, up until about two years ago, everything seemed to be working out exactly as it was supposed to.
My husband and I married when I was twenty years old. Then, five years later, we got pregnant with our first child. The pregnancy wasn’t perfect, but everything turned out okay. So far, so good. Then, two years later, we tried again for baby number two and got pregnant the very first month we tried. My picture-perfect life was still going as planned. I never even thought about the possibility of that picture crashing to the floor.
But then, at twelve weeks pregnant, I went in for an ultrasound and found a still baby on the ultrasound screen. Her tiny heart was no longer beating. Her body unmoved. As I stared at her tiny, still figure on that black and white screen, my head started spinning and I watched as my picture-perfect plans crashed to the floor.
That was October of 2010. We miscarried again the following January and a third time in August of 2011. My plans—those plans that I dreamed about since I was twelve years old—were dissolving right before my eyes. What I didn’t realize then, though, was that God was working on some plans of his own.
In mid-September, my husband and I were approached about possibly adopting a baby boy who was due in November. To say we were overwhelmed was an understatement.
How were we going to afford this?
Is this what we were supposed to do?
What if the adoption falls through?
What if she changes her mind at the last minute?
What do you even have to do to adopt a baby?
We were clueless, scared and overwhelmed. But at the same time, the thought of having a baby in just two short months excited my heart. I called several of my friends who had adopted and got their advice. Turns out, adoption is not nearly as overwhelming as it sounds once you’ve found a potential baby. “There are really only two steps,” my friends told me. “Get a homestudy done, and hire an attorney. Then the courts take care of the rest.”
As the two months passed and the birthmother neared her delivery date, everything fell into place. We had a homestudy done, hired an attorney, met the birthparents, went to court to obtain custody at birth, and I even went to a few doctor appointments.
When our baby boy was born, I was able to be in the delivery room. I even got to cut the umbilical cord (which is the weirdest feeling, by the way). The hospital gave us a complimentary room, and we were able to take him home with us the day after he was born.
One month later, we all went back to court to finalize the adoption. OnDecember 16, 2011, he was officially our son!
As much as our new baby thrills my heart, there’s another part of me that feels guilty our adoption was so easy. I know families who wait years to adopt a baby, only to walk away empty-handed when a birthmother changes her mind. It breaks my heart to hear their stories, because I too (though in a different way) know the pain of longing to hold your baby and having him or her taken away from you all too soon. Nonetheless, even though I ache for these families, I feel an obligation to share my story for one primary reason: to offer hope.
After our third miscarriage, I really thought God had abandoned me. I was convinced he didn’t care about me anymore, that my prayers were landing on closed ears, and that my desire for another child was not important to him. I could not have been more wrong. God didn’t answer my prayers for a baby like I planned on him answering them, but he was listening nonetheless. And he was growing our son in his birthmother’s belly and preparing her heart to choose adoption.
I share my story so that maybe, just maybe, you’ll hang on a little bit longer. God’s plans might be different than yours. I wish I could promise you that he’ll give you everything your heart longs for. Unfortunately, I can’t. But I can promise you this: He’s not ignoring you, and someday he will make his plans known to you. On that day, it will all make sense.
Lindsey Bell is a non-fiction author, stay-at-home mother to two wonderful little boys, wife, and blogger. You can find her online at any of the following locations:
Her main blog: www.lindsey-bell.com
Her miscarriage blog: www.livingwholeagain.blogspot.com
Facebook: Lindsey Bell
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