It had been a long day. I was overly tired and frustrated with how the kids had acted throughout the day. I was feeling unappreciated and all around annoyed. This attitude mixed with a husband who felt the same exact way is never a good thing. It is a little known fact that on a few occasions when these two moods collide, it’s usually followed by hurt feelings. But, once things calm down something magical happens……….
We are able to sit down and actually discuss all the things that are bothering us. Which lead to a brainstorming session about all the issues we had running around in our minds. This brainstorming session lead to actually answers to things that were bothering us most. And finally, once again becoming a united front.
At some point or other we have all decided that great marriages don’t have heated discussions. Maybe its because these little discussions happen behind closed doors, so we never really actually see them. Or because most of the time we don’t discuss them, because we don’t want anyone to know that there are flaws in our lives. The fact of the matter is, the differences between good marriages and great marriages is how we are able to connect with our husband’s during and after these heated discussions.
So can you come to this point in your own marriage?
My own marriage has not always been like this. In fact it look more like a war film from the outside looking in until one day I realized something. My husband was not and was never going to be perfect. He was allowed to have bad days. He was going to stumble on occasion. Also on occasion he was going to let his emotions get the better of him. Just like me. This means that we had to start viewing each other with grace.
We needed to learn that just because we both could not see eye-to-eye at the moment, it did not mean that we were not on the same team. Too many times we only think about our point-of-view. Instead we need to work together to come to a common solution. This involves sitting down and talking to each other. (Which I may add, sometimes does not happen until you have encountered the uncomfortable heated discussion.)
Above all we need to make sure that we are putting God in the center of our marriage. We need to make sure that we are not so focused on our own desires that we are neglecting the desires that God wants for our family. In order to to that, we need to make sure we take time to pray together with our husband about our marriage, our family and our future decisions.
Now I am not saying go and start a heating discussion with your husband today. However, I am saying that sometimes those heated discussions are there to remind us that our marriage is not perfect. And if you really think about it, why would we want them to be perfect? After all, it is during those imperfect moments that we grow.
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