We as wives have so much going on in our lives. A lot of times as we are trying to balance things we forget to throw our husbands into the list of people that need attention. We take for granted that they understand how busy we are and that they understand that we are doing very important things. The fact is, though they understand, it doesn’t make their need for our attention any different.
When my husband and I first got married we were inseparable. Where you saw one of us the other one was sure to be somewhere in the same area. After the birth of our second son this started to change that dynamic a bit, but not too bad. Once our second some came and then shortly thereafter our twins, we started doing everything separate. He worked a different shift then the rest of us were on and by the time we had a quiet moment in our home I was just too exhausted to even attempt to spend time with him. On those moments that I did make the effort, it usually ended with me falling asleep, leaving my husband all alone once again.
As this season continued to go on in our marriage, we started running out of things to talk to about with each other. We were finding it hard to relate to each other. I was feeling like an old shoe and he was feeling a bit like he was playing second fiddle in our life together. This, of course, led to endless arguments and a little bit of resentment on both parts.
Our husband’s don’t want to beg to spend time with us.
They don’t want to feel as though they have to fight the rest of the world to see their wives.
They also don’t want to feel like they are no longer a priority.
Funny thing is, when I thought about it, I don’t want to feel like any of the things listed above either. So how do we make sure that we are still allowing ourselves to be available for our husbands and still get everything else done? Well that one takes a bit of work and a whole lot of dedication.
As I looked into my own personal situation my husband and I both came up with a few things that could actually help us. I thought it was hugely important to seek his input, because I wanted to make sure that I was not just doing what I thought would help. Instead I wanted to make sure I was doing what was going to help.
- Attempt to fix yourself up just for your husband: I am guilty of wearing jogging pants and comfy t-shirts a lot around the house. When I go out however, I fix my hair, put on makeup and throw on the good clothes. Though our husbands do not mind seeing us not dressed up, they do appreciate the effort it takes for us to dress up just for them and not the rest of the world. Pull out his favorite outfit and wear it just around the house once in a while. He will love it and you will love the extra attention you will receive.
- Plan a surprise date night: Since having 4 kids finding a sitter – or the funds for that matter – have been slim to none. However, date nights in can be just as fun and even more intimate then going out. Still stick to the same principles that you would had you went out. Fix your hair, throw on something cute and simply enjoy each others company. If it is possible to go out, then by all means do so. Your husband needs that one on one time. Chances are you need it to even if you haven’t realized it.
- Write little love notes and leave them in places where he will find them: Before my husband and I got married we used to always write each other little notes to each other. These little notes help remind them that we are still thinking of them as we are running around doing all that we are doing.
- Fix his favorite meal just because: I am bad about making quick and easy meals. Theses meals, though my husband doesn’t mind them, are not some of his favorite things to consume. Taking the time to do something as simple as making our husbands a simple meal they love shows them that we care about meeting their needs.
- Join him in watching his favorite television show: My husband and I have different tastes as to what makes for good viewing pleasure. However, he loves it if I will simply sit with him and take an interest in the shows that he is watching. Mind you often times he will try to find something that we will both enjoy it is still nice to simply sit and watch something together that is not a cartoon.
- Make an effort to go places with him even if it means taking the kids: Getting all the kids ready to go somewhere is a chore. However, a lot of times our husbands want to show off their family. Taking the time to actually go places together as a family not only allows him to spend time with you, it also allows the kids to learn how to act in different settings. So really it is a win/win.
I hope that these ideas at the very least get you started on thinking of ways that you can make a little more time for your husband and I would love to hear ideas that you have in the comments below. After all, we are in this together.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
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