Frustration seemed to cloud all sense of judgement as I not so tenderly began cleaning up the mess on our carport. “Other wives don’t have to do yard work,” and “Seriously, how do all these other wives get their husbands to do whatever they ask of them and I can’t?” were the thoughts that replayed over and over in my head.
I was playing the age old game of comparing my husband to another husband and it was causing me to become angry and slightly bitter. I finished the task at hand and rushed back inside to continue the other tasks that needed to be done that day. Yet, the more I worked with the children, cleaned the house and did all my other daily tasks, I continued to just soak in my own self pity.
Then my husband came home from a long hard day at work.
Poor man didn’t even know what hit him as he approached me at our back door.
Left in a state of confusion the only thing he could do was to remind me that just because other husbands have time to do certain tasks didn’t mean that he had the same amount of time. I stormed away because this was not the answer I wanted. As I was putting away the laundry I heard my calm tempered husband greet all the children and begin playing with them. Almost instantly I began to feel guilty. Once again I had allowed myself to compare my husband and our marriage to others.
My husband may not always get to my ever growing list of things that need to be done. But, he is the perfect man for me and our family.
One who is calm, patient and very forgiving. Dare I say, he is also very low maintenance, providing I attempt to spend at least a hour or so with him in the evenings. A lot of times my list doesn’t get touched because he is busy making memories with our children when he is not working. Other times it is because he is called away to do things for his mother who is a widow. Yes, even though he doesn’t get to my list like other husbands do for their wives, my husband is a great man who did not deserve being flogged at the back door.
Within a few moments I had to return to my husband and eat a little crow.
It is so easy to become caught up in the comparison game. After all, from the outside looking in, even the most troubled marriages can look perfect. Not to mention there is never a marriage that looks the same as another. Dynamics are different in every marriage, because every marriage has two different people. We seem to forget that in the heat of the moment. We focus on those things other wives get and forget to look at the things we do get from our husbands.
There is no cookie cutter marriage and there is no perfect marriage. When we allow the comparison monster to take over in our minds we miss out on seeing the blessings that God has given us in our spouse. It clouds our vision.
Instead of comparing our man, what if we looked at why God chose our husband for us instead.
My husband is a wonderful cook who loves to cook for his family.
He works hard so that I can stay at home with our children.
Though he may not always understand my various activities, he supports me completely.
He is a wonderful listener when I simply need to vent.
Have you ever been caught by the comparison monster? Were you able to correct yourself before it caused you to become angry or hurt?
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him
This post is part of the Marriage & Motherhood Mondays series. To see others in this series, simply click the image below.
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