Before my husband and I had kids we had a date night each week. It was just the two of us at our favorite pizza place chatting and connecting after a crazy week. That night each week was very important to us because both of us worked different shifts and most of the time those 3 hours were the most that we would see each other. Conversations on those date nights are actually where we would map out our future plans, discuss problematic situations and just really connect without our attention being on other things.
Fast forward 15 years later and here we are 4 kids, crazy work schedules, and, even more, things on our plates than should be humanly allowed. Yet, in the romance department, we are still just like a couple of newlyweds. Many have asked how in the world it has been possible the two of us to stay so connected. Others are almost certain that we more than likely are just putting on a show for the public. However, I am going to let you in on the secret we have discovered for staying connected.
The Secret to Staying Connected:
- Put God first: God is the center of this marriage and because of this we want to have a marriage that mirrors Him. It is important as a Christian married couple that we both seek out what God wants not only from us as individuals, but also as a unit.
- Set a night to simply focus on each other: Now that we have four children is it very difficult to find a sitter. Often times our night is simply a night in – eating dinner and watching a movie after the kids go to bed. The point is that we are very unwavering on our night. It is a must for us and we know this.
- Continue to strive to catch each others eye: Men are not totally against a woman wearing jogging pants and a messy bun. However, just like when you were dating, they like the effort we put into our appearance occasionally. Some men, like my husband, enjoy it if we simply make their favorite meal or do something that is going to make their lives a little easier. The point it that doing nice things for each other shouldn’t end just because you have gotten married. If anything, it should increase.
- Open communication is a must: No matter how long you have been married your spouse will never be able to read your mind. They need to know what is going on with us and they need to know how they can help. A sure fire way to cause friction in a marriage is a failure to communicate in a loving way with each other.
- Refuse to allow conflicts to go unsettled: No two people are ever going to always agree on things. However, the way we handle those disagreements can be life changing. Here is where we have to do what we are always telling our children. We need to learn to openly talk out a disagreement, actively listen to the other person and compromise. Allowing conflicts to go unsettled only leads to disconnecting from each other.
- Allow each other grace: No one is ever going to be perfect. Your marriage is never going to be perfect. However, just like everything else in life you can try your best and try to see the best in your spouse. Note that you are not always right nor are they, however, you both are still working toward a common goal – striving to be more like Christ.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
This post is part of the Marriage & Motherhood Mondays series. To see others in this series, simply click the image below.
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