Last week I shared with you tips on parenting your polar opposite. I know this is a struggle in our home and was so happy to read comments, emails and messages from those of you that feel much the same way. But there is likely another child in your household – your mini me. If you have more than one child, its likely this one lives in your home. They can bring so much joy as they remind you of yourself at that age, but they can also bring some serious battles.
I know all too well how those battles can rage. Oh boy do I ever. My oldest daughter is just like me – compassionate to a fault, nurturing and motherly, servant-hearted, self-starter, music loving, go-getter, tomboy who loves worms and ladybugs not to mention dingy, space cadet and stubborn. And while all those things are wonderful qualities, sometimes they drive me absolutely insane. Why? Because I see them in myself and don’t always like it.
As she gets older, being her friend will likely be somewhat easy, because we do think and act a lot alike. However, being her parent is not always easy, for the same reasons. It is difficult to watch any of my children make the same mistakes I did and learn a lesson the hard way. It is also difficult to watch them struggle with the same things I did as a child, when telling them would be so much easier. But I know this is for the good of her character as she grows and learns.
So how do you parent your mini-me?
- Prayer – I mentioned it before, but this something that cannot be overlooked or passed over. Prayer, constant prayer, is the only way to parent any child – let alone your mini-me. No matter if you’re the parent of an only child, multiple children, your polar opposite or your exact duplicate, praying is what will keep you focused on what the Lord wants you to teach your children – not what you want. Starting your day with prayer and learning how to pray for your children makes all the difference. Power of a Praying Parent, has changed the way I look at my children and my prayer life for them.
- Learn their Love Language – This may seem strange, since we are talking about our mini-me’s, but just because they share our interests and a similar personality doesn’t mean the feel love the same. My personal love language is quality time, closely followed by acts of service. My mini-me is reversed. So while we’re not too far apart, she wants and needs to feel useful and helpful. That means involving her in cooking meals, which drives me nuts as I’m a Type A personality and likes things neat. She also likes to help with the laundry, which taught me that folded towels were folded towels. Perfect or not didn’t matter. She was helping and she was giving of herself in love. If you haven’t read the 5 Love Languages for Children, go get it now.
- Don’t compare – If you’re the parent of more than one child, it is difficult not to compare them. Especially in their school work and achievements. However, comparing them to yourself can be even more dangerous. They likely have most, if not all, of the same qualities you have, but they are not you! They might be good at math (my daughter), but your strong suit is reading/grammar (me). Similar personalities, does not mean you share the same brain.
- Don’t show favoritism – Whether we want to admit it or not, there is always a child that seems to be “our favorite.” Not that you love them more or the others less, they just make life a little easier. They are usually easy to get along with and often see things the same way you do. However doing more things with them because you both enjoy them, while leaving out the ones who don’t is never a good parenting tactic. Save that for your one-on-one time.
- Spend one-on-one time with them – Save your common interests for the one-on-one time you spend with your children. If you both love the ballet, plan a special date with that child. If you both love being outside in nature, take walks together. But save the favoritism for this one-on-one time when you can both enjoy the same activities. You may learn something new about your mini-me that you never imagined!
It is important that we realize our children may act like us at times, but they are not us. Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t for wimps. It takes lots of prayer, patience – but together we can do it!
What do you struggle with most in parenting your mini-me?
This post is part of the Marriage & Motherhood Mondays series. To see others in this series, simply click the image below.
Annette lived many years as an exhausted wife of 1 and mother of 6. Grab your fuzzy blanket, pour your favorite drink, and browse through our encouraging tips, printables, and curriculum options. Read more about me and the ministry here at In All You Do
This Post Has 15 Comments
I definitely have a mini-me and it usually scares me how much like me his personality is. I always say that my kids look like their daddy but they get their attitude from me! They are definitely feisty little people. Especially my mini-me. And he got a strong strong dose of my strong will. Lucky me, right?! I am always begging the Lord to give me wisdom with parenting him.learning his love language and spending one on one time definitely is a must. Filling up that love tank reaps so many benefits!
The “love tank” is most definitely a MUST and you’re right…it makes such a difference! Thanks for stopping by!
My mini-me and myself but heads more than any other child I have! It’s that whole stubborn and needing to be right thing that always gets in our way.
I can totally relate!!
I enjoyed this, Annette! I talk about the mini-me and the polar-opposite often. My mini-me can get on my nerves in a heartbeat because I know the faults and the inner drive there. My husband’s mini-me – same thing. The good thing is that those senses are kind of like 6th senses that help us out especially when they enter the teen years. We can go with our gut and usually be right – and work with our spouse who doesn’t understand why we’re being so strict LOL. LOTS of communication necessary there.
I want to feature this next Tuesday Talk on my blog! Thanks for sharing with us today – be sure to come back next week!
Thank you for that encouraging word about teen years. We are quickly approaching them with my oldest and that gives me hope! I would love for you to feature this post! Feel free to email me if you need the image, as they are blocked on my site. Email: mommi(at)inallyoudo(dot)net
Hi Annette, thanks for responding. I feature 3 posts each week from the previous Tuesday Talk and quote a paragraph from each so no graphic is needed. 🙂 I did notice that your site is blocked, so I re-typed your second paragraph to quote with your name, site, and the name of your post underneath. Have a great Monday, see you back tomorrow for Tuesday Talk!
Thanks so much Ruthie!! I’ll be there tomorrow!
Wonderful words of wisdom and advice! It can definitely be hard parenting a miniature version of ourselves! Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂
Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart! Thanks for hosting!
I really love the concept of “learning their love language.” I have to get this book too. thanks for recommending it and for linking up with the #LMMLinkupl
You’re so welcome! It is well worth the read!!
I’ve read Love Languages for Singles when I was younger but didn’t know there was a kids version. Would it be helpful for my four year old, do you think? You share some very good tips here. Really liked this post!! Thanks for sharing your link at the #HomeMattersParty !
Hi Rachel. I think it is a MUST READ for all parents! I thought I knew what my kids’ love languages are, but I was surprised by a couple of them. I’m so glad you found this post helpful! Blessings to you!!