7 Ways I’ve Failed As A Mother

When I became a mother, I never dreamed how simultaneously difficult and rewarding it would truly be. I envisioned motherhood like Little House on the Prairie – my kids being around me at all times and me loving them there. As for the difficult times, I never really saw those my mom went through as we were growing up, so the first time that happened I was lost. I cried for hours, feeling like a failure.

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Have you ever felt like your motherhood journey is made up more of failures than successes? It is difficult to see the success when you’re in the trenches. However, the Lord has blessed me these past few months and I have been able to see some amazing things the Lord is doing in our children. First, we have been going through The Bible Recap together for our Bible time each day. This has been a blessing I never knew I needed. As of this writing, we have finished 117 days of Bible together!!

Second, my older four are daily Bible readers. Years ago we started them on their own Bible reading path by adding it to their homeschool routines. Once they are able to read on their own, they are required to read one chapter a day in the Old Testament and one chapter a day in the New Testament. After several years of this habit, we now have nearly daily conversations about their readings and are able to talk and discuss things with them as they grow in their own knowledge and faith. Talk about a blessing and a JOY!!

However, I know what it is like to be in the trenches and think you’re a complete failure as a mother. I still have those hard days…

Hear me, dear Mothers…You’re NOT! And, you are not alone!

We have all been there and some of us are still there. So, I want to encourage you with some of my own failures and truths from God’s Word to set you straight (as they do me!).

I get preoccupied easily

I am a task-oriented and list person. When I have a list of projects to complete, I am rather OCD about getting them done and usually in the order I wrote them. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it does cause me to have tunnel vision and I don’t like stopping until I’m done. I struggle with worry and anxiety about life and what is coming, so I often use my list to “control” the situation and create the outcome I want, and even need. I need to feel accomplished and a checked-off task list is how I do that. But that directly contradicts what God’s Word teaches!

Biblical Truth:  

Matthew 5:25 says, “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (NASB, 1995)

I am a yeller

I get so focused on my task list, and I don’t like being interrupted while working on said task list, which leads to my second failure. I am a yeller…

Granted, my house growing up was a loud house. Not only did I have two brothers, but my Dad was a yeller, so I also became a yeller. I have struggled with this for years and while some days are better than others, I have realized the less sleep I get and the more I have on my “to do list,” the easier I lose control.

So, I have started making my daily or weekly list, and have created work hours and consistent days off so that I can put everything away when my work time is over. This has allowed me to not only spend more time with my kids, but given me a better attitude when I do!

Biblical Truths:  

Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (NASB, 1995)

I dislike cooking

I have never been a big cooker. I like to bake, but not cook. I am a rule-follower, so deviating from a recipe just stresses me out…literally. So, most of the cooking in our house is done by my husband. You may not think this is a big deal, but my mother and grandmothers always did all the cooking in their house and because I don’t, for years I have felt like a failure.

Biblical Truth:  

Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given me I say to each one in the Lord not to think more highly of oneself than they ought, nor to think of themselves less than they are.” (NASB, 1995)

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I am not a cuddler

I want to be a cuddler, but I’m just not. I like my personal space. The Lord has been working on me though, because several of my kids love hugs and want them (an even need them) multiple times a day. We’re working on compromises though, because they usually want a hug while I’m on the phone with someone, or in the middle of a train of thought – not the best timing. However, I am learning to be more flexible and give them the comfort and security they feel from the hugs and cuddles, because I receive such comfort from God!

Biblical Truth:  

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (NASB, 1995)

I am not crafty…AT. ALL.

If you want to send me in to stress overload, just plop a bunch of craft supplies in front of me. I want to love, I really do…but I just can’t. I am too much of a perfectionist to just do it. You know those painting parties at those shops now, yeah…they look fun, but I’m terrified mine would turn out terrible. So I don’t go. However, the Lord is working on me in this area as well (as He does in all areas), because my girls love to color, craft and make things. Through them, I am learning to let go. Now that they are older, I appreciate their unique minds and have learned to embrace the creativity God has blessed them with!

Biblical Truth:  

Romans 12:4 says, “For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function,” (NASB, 1995)

I am not a frilly, froo-froo girl

Now this is one I’m not sure I’ll ever change, but I have a new appreciation for frilly now. My youngest daughter is a spit-fire full of Joy and life. She sings and dances every where she goes and loves all things girly. She wants bows in her hair, she loves the colors pink, purple, and teal and would still wear a dress everyday if she could! While those might have been dreams of mine as a child, I still loved to go out and play in the dirt and swing from the monkey bars. There was balance. 

Biblical Truth:  

Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” (NASB, 1995)

I am not patient

If we’re honest with ourselves, many of us are not patient by nature. However, that doesn’t mean we’re a bad or terrible mother. It also doesn’t mean we can’t change. As with the yelling, I have learned that little sleep and stress cause my patience to go out the window. One way I have alleviated the stress that causes impatience, is setting time limits on my work time. Putting down the work and concentrating on my family really helps me control my patience.

Biblical Truth:  

James 1:19-20 says, “But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (NASB, 1995)

Final Thoughts

We must remain focused on the One who gave us charge over these tiny humans.

We must put away our selfish thoughts and desires daily so we can care for them in the ways of the Lord.

Will we fail? Absolutely!

Will the Creator and God of ALL be there to pick us up? Every time.

Do it with excellence and for the glory of God and those feelings of failure will start to fade.

Being a mother is a full-time job and no one can have it all together all of the time. However, knowing that we all struggle helps us pull together and encourage each other in this journey of motherhood.

Biblical Truth:

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (NASB,1995)

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As parents, we all fail. We are not perfect, so it’s bound to happen. If you’re struggling with your own failures, I encourage you to get into God’s Word and read how He can sustain you and renew you when you fail.

Enter the Giveaway

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re anything like me, you know that moms don’t always make time to celebrate themselves. Whether you’re a work-from-home mom, a homeschool mama juggling lesson plans and laundry, or just someone who gives everything to her family every single day — this one is for you.

That’s why I’ve teamed up with a wonderful group of bloggers to bring you a special Mother’s Day Giveaway, and I think you’re going to love it.

We’re giving away five $100 gift cards — and the best part is that you get to choose which store yours is for. Whatever makes your heart happy, this gift card is yours to spend exactly the way you want.

The giveaway runs from April 29th through May 8th, so you’ll want to get your entries in before it closes at 11:59 PM Pacific Time on May 8th.

To enter, simply use the KingSumo form below. There are several entry options because each blogger in this group has contributed to make this giveaway possible — and the more entries you complete, the better your chances of winning!

We hope this is a little bright spot in your May, mama. You deserve it. 💗

Terms & Conditions

Giveaway ends May 8th at 11:59pm Pacific Time. Winners will be drawn and emailed the following business day, Monday, May 11th. The winners will have 48 hours to respond to email to claim the prize. By entering this giveaway you will be added to the email lists of the participating bloggers. You must live in the United States or Canada to be eligible to win. Must be 18+ to win. Please be sure to read the Terms & Conditions upon entering the giveaway.