When hard times strike, marriages often take a hit. It’s no secret that many couples divorce after losing a child or going through another similar type catastrophe.
I think the reason this often happens is that difficult times put stress on marriages and cause couples to battle each other when they are struggling to work through their own pain. Events such as these also accentuate any problems that might have already existed.
When my husband and I went through secondary infertility and lost four babies to miscarriage, I understood then why it’s so hard to stay strong in your marriage when life is hard. Here are a few things that helped us maintain our marriage through those hard years.
How to Maintain Your Marriage When Life is Hard:
We offered grace – A LOT.
When people are under stress (caused by any source), they often take out their stress on those closest to them.
If you want to maintain your marriage through a stressful or painful situation, you’ll need to dish out the grace often. Cut your spouse some slack, and try to see them through eyes of understanding.
We kept communicating.
Some people react to stress and pain by pulling away from those closest to them. In a marriage relationship, this can be devastating. Your spouse needs you right now, just as much as you need him. Keep communicating with one another, even when it’s difficult.
We recognized our differences.
My husband grieved our losses much differently than I did. At first, his lack of emotion really bothered me. It made me feel like he didn’t care.
But the truth was, he did care. He simply showed it differently than I did.
Accept that your spouse might handle pain differently than you do.
We had fun together.
Pain has a way of taking over every aspect of your life if you let it. It can become all-consuming.
Don’t allow it to consume your marriage. Make it a point to take opportunities to do fun things together.
My husband and I went to hear a comedian shortly after one of our miscarriages. We took a short trip after another one of them. These fun activities didn’t fix our pain, but it helped us remember there was still joy in life. It helped us connect with one another at a time when we really needed to connect.
We reminded ourselves often that we were on the same team.
Satan wants nothing more than to use our trials to convince us our marriage is over. He wants to use our pain to make us enemies with one another.
But the truth is, me and my husband are on the same team. So are you and your spouse.
Don’t allow Satan to convince you otherwise.
What else do you think helps people maintain their marriages through hard times?
This post is part of Lindsey’s blog tour to celebrate her new Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too).
To celebrate her book, she’s giving away a HUGE bundle of books! Leave a comment on this post to be entered to win. You can get more entries by commenting on other blogs in the tour as well. Get a full list of participating blogs here.
Why does life have to be so hard? If you’ve ever asked this question, you’re not alone. Difficult times often leave Christians searching the Bible for answers to some of life’s most difficult questions.
Does God hear me when I pray?
Why isn’t He doing anything?
Does He even care?
In Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too), Lindsey Bell walks with readers through the stories of men and women in the Bible who went through difficult situations. In this 10-week Bible study and devotional, she addresses many of these questions and helps readers learn how they too can be unbeaten.
About Lindsey Bell:
She’s a stay-at-home mother of two silly boys, a minister’s wife, an avid reader, and a lover of all things chocolate.
Lindsey writes weekly at www.lindseymbell.com about faith, family, and learning to love the life she’s been given.