This is day 5 in our series. If you’ve missed a post or are just now joining us, you can start from the beginning here. There are links to the next post at the bottom of each one.
A few days ago we talked about Finding and Loving Your Spouses Love Language. While that is a start, there are several other ways we can love our husbands. It’s a fact, men are wired differently than women. Even though there are the same 5 love languages available to both men and women, men respond to them differently than women do. When I discussed this post with my husband, he pointed out a few things I had not thought of for this post.
When we first get married, it seems as if your relationship will never change. You are so in-tune with each others needs. But then time passes, kids come into the picture and seems to get a little weary. Until one day you look at the person next to you in bed and wonder what happened? Why are we not as in love as we were when we got married? The truth is…you are. You’ve just gotten lazy at showing it! Don’t get me wrong – I’m just as guilty about this as the next wife. I have become lazy at listening to my husband and taking cues from him that sometimes he even has to tell me what he wants.
While that’s okay, I really want to be the wife that knows her husbands needs and desires so intimately that he doesn’t have to tell me. That is truly what brought about this post. My desire to know and please my husband in the most intimate ways possible. And I’m not just talking about in the bedroom, ladies – although that’s a good start and they definitely won’t mind! So here are 5 practical ways you can love your man.
- Pray for your husband. I have not been diligent in this area, but it is one I am committed to changing. This is one of the most intimate ways to support your husband. This is more than just “Lord, bless my husband today.” This is a deep, intimate intercession on your husband’s behalf. While we think we’re just praying for our husband, the Holy Spirit is at work in us too. By praying for our husband, we will not only strengthen our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we will also begin to see our husband as Christ sees him. And that makes all the difference. Try using these printable prayer cards from Time-Warp Wife to get you started. There are 31 prayer prompts in this set.
- Genuinely appreciate his “attempts” at love. Men are a little dense when it comes to love. If he’s trying to show you how much he loves you…let him. Even if it’s not your love language, let him woo you. He’s doing his best to show you that you are the woman of his dreams. But, pay close attention to the ways he is showing his love, because that is likely what will make him feel loved!! *hint, hint* If you continually thwart his efforts and attempts at showing love, he will eventually give up. He will feel unloved and defeated. And that’s the last thing we want in our man!
- Be spontaneous – in their love language. Use their love language as your source of inspiration for spontaneity. It is especially important that you love them in their love language or they will begin to feel like your efforts are simply to “get them off your back.” It’s much like a supervisor at work telling you, “You’re doing a great job! This company is lucky to have you.” But there are no physical actions to back that up – a raise, promotion, etc. Words are hollow when followed up with actions. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to install a dance pole in your bedroom for those who’s love language is physical touch. Try getting into bed before him – naked. Or put on one of your sexy nighties and stand in the doorway for him to admire you. Chances are, once you take the first step in that direction they will take over from there and you can relax and really enjoy the time together.
- Be available for him and show him you want him. This goes right along with loving them in their love language. Even if their love language isn’t physical touch, sex is vital to the marriage relationship. Now, I’m as guilty as the next woman when it comes to avoiding the bedroom. There are days, as a homeschooling housewife, that I don’t feel the least bit sexy!! But, learning to let your husband love you is so important – to both of you!! Try dressing up for your husband. It doesn’t have to be in an evening gown. Just get out of your jammies and sweats. Put on clothes, fix your hair and maybe add some make-up to the mix. Not only will it make you feel sexier, it will catch their eye when they walk in the door.
- Trust him to be the Head of the Household. As a Type A personality, this is especially difficult for me. But, as a worn-out, frazzled-to-the-bone, homeschooling mom I find this comforting. It is comforting to know that I’m not in this alone. That he’s got my back. The Lord placed him as the Head of the Household for a reason, so trust that the Lord is in charge more than your husband. It’s not easy to do, believe me. I tend to like things a certain way in order for the house to run smoothly. So it’s difficult when he comes home and does things differently. But as my mom said, different isn’t bad…it’s just different. If you’re praying daily for your husband, trust the Lord to work in his life and show him how to lead his household. Don’t interfere just because things are done the way you like. Sit back and let the Lord work in his heart and trust HIM to do his job!!
Most of this is not new. It’s not rocket science, although sometimes we treat it that way and run in the opposite direction. But, if we simply ground ourselves in God’s Word daily, pay attention to how he shows his love for us (and others) and try to love him in his love language – our love for him will increase. So over the next few days take notice of when he’s showing love to you and do your best to reciprocate. Over time this will become easier and you will feel more free to be creative in showing love to your husband.
Want more ways to pray for your husband? Check out my Enriching my Marriage board on Pinterest.
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